How I Used Fashion to Help Myself Get Out of Bed in the Morning

by - January 25, 2018

As a kid, I went through a dozen phases of what I wanted to be when I grew up. During the winter Olympics I wanted to be a figure skater, during the summer Olympics I wanted to be a gymnast (I guess it makes sense that I ended up pursuing dance), and when I discovered the wonderful world of reading, I desperately wanted to be a writer.

But, for a while, I also wanted to be a fashion designer. Somewhere in my parents’ house are sketches of my designs, as well as notebooks with half-finished stories. Perhaps they got thrown away at some point, but for me they are a reminder that I have always been interested in fashion and style. I didn’t always have a good sense of style, but I enjoyed it as a method of expressing myself, a daily creative outlet for my artsy soul. 

However, during my sophomore year of high school, I became clinically depressed and anxious and lost interest in just about everything. The t-shirts that I had collected from ballet performances over the years (don’t ask me how many Nutcracker shirts are still in my childhood closet) became my wardrobe staples, partially because I didn’t have the energy to do more than throw on a t-shirt and jeans every day and partially because I had gained weight and didn’t want to look at myself. That time of my life was marked with an intense self-loathing that took years to recover from. 

With help from my family, I reached a turning point and began to heal. I chose to fight my mental illness and started learning about happiness: what it is, what it isn’t, how to cultivate it, that it could be a real part of my life. Naturally this involved a lot of reading. (My solution to everything was to read.)

Despite my efforts, getting out of bed every day still proved to be a struggle. Around this time, fashion/style blogs were becoming a big deal, and online shopping was on the rise. I became addicted to looking at other people’s creativity with getting dressed and was inspired to try some things on my own. My town's mall was, well, less than stellar, and I wasn’t about to leave the house to try on clothes anyway, so I started shopping online. I became fascinated with layering and remixing different pieces to create new outfits. But having a million outfit ideas is useless when you don’t leave the house much.

Over time, I turned getting dressed from something to be dreaded and despised into something fun, from something that made me want to stay in bed to something that made me want to get out of bed and venture out into the world again. It allowed me to focus on something that was purely for my own enjoyment. I had a myriad of other insecurities, but I was fortunate enough not to care too much about what other people thought about my clothes. 

At the time, I also nurtured a secret desire to start a style blog. I made a few attempts over the years, but still struggled with ups and downs in physical and mental health, and never really made it happen. 

So, here I am seven years later, finishing what I started. My life has changed in so many ways since I first sat at my parents’ computer looking at, and I decided I wanted this blog to be more than just a chronicle of my daily outfits. I want to share style as a vehicle for making more out of life than just forcing myself to get out of bed everyday. I want to make the most out of everyday, and getting dressed is part of that. 

So, here it goes! I will be putting up my first outfit post tomorrow, so come back to check it out!

What about you? What role does fashion and/or personal style play in your life? Does it play any role? Or do you just get dressed because it’s not really a good idea to go to work in your pjs? 

Stay amiable!


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