My date with Mr. Darcy

by - June 05, 2017

Two words:

Blind date.

Aka my friend was not excited to go on a date with this guy that seemed very interested in her, so I volunteered to double and go on a blind date with this guy's cousin. (I'm pretty sure that earns me major bonus friendship points.) 

We were sitting in a frozen yogurt shop, talking about who knows what, when my date said something to the effect of, "I'm kind of a Mr. Darcy personality." 

I nearly spit up my coconut boba all over my friend's date. 

There were so many things I wanted to say, but what came out was, "You know that in real life no one would actually like him, right?" 

Mr. self-proclaimed Darcy nodded and responded, "But he gets the girl in the end." 

I. Had. So. Many. Words. 

At the time, I settled for resisting the urge to give him a lecture on not treating women like an object, such as a prize to be won, and instead I bit my tongue. (I figured the date would get over faster that way.) But now, I would like to share my thoughts on the subject. 

In my opinion, people mistakenly think that if Mr. Darcy turned out to be a kind-hearted, loving man, willing to do anything for the love of his life, then all standoffish, proud men must be the same. Mr. Darcy turned out to be great because of the transformation he underwent after Elizabeth Bennet turned his world upside down. Elizabeth and Darcy came from completely different social universes, and, while many would have bowed down at his feet, Elizabeth treated him like the snob he was.

Darcy grew up in an exclusive class of people, believing that that was the only class of people worth associating with. He used his introverted nature as an excuse to be antisocial in a new town. Jane's understanding nature allowed her to see that there was likely more to Darcy than met the eye, but Lizzy did not see past his proud demeanor.

Darcy was proud and prejudiced in his aristocratic manner, and Lizzy had her own sense of pride and prejudice after he rudely rebuffed her. For the first time in Darcy's life, someone, a female of a lower class no less, treated him with little to no deference for his station in life. Lizzy was not afraid to politely stick it to him, give him something to think about, help him to see outside his own universe.

In his quiet manner, Darcy observed Lizzy's behavior and personality with a critical eye. He found that she was intelligent, spunky, friendly, and kind. His socially awkward, introverted nature and high position in life prevented him from showing the usual affection that would normally have come from a man in love. Nonetheless, he recognized Lizzy's worth and expected her to accept his proposal because of his wealth and position in life. She read him like a book and pointed his out his flaws, and for some reason that made him love her even more.

After Lizzy rejected him, Darcy did a self-evaluation. Amongst his own friends and family, he was known for his good heart. However, Lizzy did not see such qualities in her interactions with him. So when she showed up at his door, Darcy used the opportunity to get to know Elizabeth and in turn show her the warm, friendly side of him that came out when he let down his guard. Lizzy had told him that if he wanted to improve his social skills, he had to practice, and Darcy took that advice to heart.

"I have not that talent which some possess of conversing easily with strangers." -Mr. Darcy 

"I do not play this instrument so well as I should wish to. But I have always supposed that to be my own fault because I would not take the trouble of practicing." -Elizabeth Bennet 

I would have liked to have told Mr. self-proclaimed Darcy that the important part of Pride and Prejudice was the part where his love for Lizzy made him a better person. He actually was a great person once she got to know him, but his love for her made him strive to be even better. Away from his comfort zone, all Lizzy saw was Darcy's proud, antisocial side. At his house, she was able to see not just his big house and great wealth, but his life's work and the people that had loved him all his life. 

As an introvert myself, I understand that not everyone can easily express their feelings, especially of a romantic nature. Confessing feelings for another human can be nerve-wracking for anyone. Even the usually eloquent Mr. Knightley stumbled to tell Emma that he loved her.

"If I loved you less, I might be able to say more." -Mr. Knightley

But, I also believe that we can overcome our shortcomings and fears for the people we love. They are worth it. I also think it is important to note that Lizzy didn't fall in love with him and then have to tell him that even though he was an arrogant, unsociable snob sometimes, she liked him. He took full responsibility for his feelings for her. Even if he thought she still despised him, he knew that Lizzy was worth the chance.

Just because Darcy managed to pull off the tall, dark and arrogant look while being a good person inside, doesn't mean that every other guy who looks and acts that way is also golden on the inside. 

What do you think? 


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  1. This is brilliant! I'm always annoyed when people pretend like Darcy is the ideal man. (Clearly the ideal man is Gilbert Blythe.) I especially like what you said at the end about the risk being worth it. It really sucks when it doesn't pan out, but I think the very act of vulnerability is a win. So Darcy would have been a better man for his love for Lizzy and his vulnerability, even if she hadn't come around.

    1. Exactly! And I'm with you on the Gilbert train :)


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